To return to innocence is to return to that place where on a deep level you are pure again. It is that place where you are unfettered by guilt, fear, anger and the desire to be in control. It is that wide-eyed open place of a child where each moment is an opportunity to experience something new. It is a place of no past and no future - just the now. It is being in the moment, which is recreated in the next moment.
At birth, we are pure in this way. Then ego begins to develop and the world begins to have its way with us. Other egos start to play a role in what we think, feel, and do. We begin to develop our “World View”. Do this, do not do that; be this don’t be that. Be strong, protected, in control. Be the master of your own destiny. We begin to live this way, but something seems to be missing. We look into the eyes of those around us and we see it missing in them as well. What is it? We grieve our loss and that grief just propels us further away. We find ourselves in a kind of black hole of desperation. We begin searching for that which we have lost.
When innocence is lost, the sun seems less bright. The stars appear less magical. We perceive that there is danger all around. God seems far away, somewhere out there. We feel that darkness is all around and that light is elusive. Grace is nonexistent. We feel that peace is not obtainable.
Identifying that these things are missing is the first step in returning to that child like view, that place of wonder, our innocence. Soon see that if we just let ourselves fall into the loving arms of the universe, that which we have been seeking had never really left us. It has been deep inside us all along. When we stop listening to the “World View” and start listening to the voice of the universe we will find it again.
Surrender your will to the will of the universe. Turn over control to the divine. Remember that you are not alone; you are part of God and God is part of you. In concert, you can do things greater than you could have ever done on your own.
When you have done this, you will have returned to your innocence and the sun will be bright again. The stars will touch you with their magic and you will be safe. God will be closer than you ever could have imagined. You will be filled with light. You will feel grace and will be at peace.
There will still be challenges, but you will perceive them in a new way. You will see with new eyes and will address your challenges with the full knowledge that they are for the moment and that in the next moment they will be transformed. With each breath you will be reminded how much wonder there is in you, fully human, fully divine.
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Sunday, January 3, 2010
The Sound of Your Own Voice
Not too long ago, I was having one of those days when I just could not pull myself out of the past and back into the moment. I was utterly depressed and bogged down in a general feeling of hopelessness. To describe the place I was in as a dark pit would be an understatement. A trusted friend and confidant had betrayed me over a year ago and I could not move past it. On this day, all the feelings of anger, hurt, and disappointment bubbled inside me like simmering vat of poison ready to consume me at any moment. I felt abandoned by the person that I had respected, admired, and loved and I felt abandoned by God.
In order to pull out of this place I decided I needed to talk to someone and called my dear friend Joy. Joy, is an ordained minister, and has known me for nearly twenty years. I have always found her to be wise and straightforward, just what I needed at this point. Certainly, she would be able to explain to me why God and the Universe had turned on me in a time when I needed comforting the most. I knew I needed to come to a place of forgiveness, forgiving my betrayer and myself but the road to that place was unclear. I was sure that Joy would be able to light the way for me. So off I went to meet with her, confident that she would spew out some words of wisdom that would help to pull me out of the pit.
For two hours, we talked about the circumstances that had taken place. We talked about forgiveness and why I felt that I needed to forgive myself. We talked about anger and resentment, trust and abandonment. Then she asked the question. Why do you think that God has abandoned you? My reply,” because I cannot hear God’s voice anymore.” I waited for her response sure, that this would be the moment that she would impart wisdom that would pull me back into the light. All she did was ask another question, “What does God’s voice sound like?” I was so disappointed in her at that moment. My mind raced looking for an answer and then it happened. I have no idea where my answer came from. It seemed too roll off my tongue without going through my brain first. I had no time to analyze the validity of my statement, it was just there. “Maybe the reason I do not think that God is talking to me is because the voice God uses is my own.” A smile erupted on Joy’s face and my brain entered that Aha stage.
On an intellectual level, I have always believed that to be created in the image of God meant that within us was a spark of divinity, that the heart of God was within our hearts. What I had never fully embodied in my understanding was that God’s wisdom could possibly come from within me. I have always had a very strong gut instinct about things but I have not always listened to it. Until that moment talking to Joy, I had never equated that gut instinct, my own voice, as coming from that divine part of me.
God speaks to us in many ways, through music, nature, and the voices of others. One of the ways God speaks to us is through our own experiences and from deep within our own heart. Often times we dismiss these messages because they come in the form of our own voice. Deep within our being is our essence, the part of us that has always been, and will always be, connected to the source of our creation. Some of us see this source as God and some as the Universe, by whatever name we call source it is clear that we are an integral part. Within us lies the wisdom and voices of the ages we need only still our minds, release our ego, and listen. Be open and do not dismiss your inner knowing. The answers you seek may come in the sound of your own voice.
Blessings,
Sheila
In order to pull out of this place I decided I needed to talk to someone and called my dear friend Joy. Joy, is an ordained minister, and has known me for nearly twenty years. I have always found her to be wise and straightforward, just what I needed at this point. Certainly, she would be able to explain to me why God and the Universe had turned on me in a time when I needed comforting the most. I knew I needed to come to a place of forgiveness, forgiving my betrayer and myself but the road to that place was unclear. I was sure that Joy would be able to light the way for me. So off I went to meet with her, confident that she would spew out some words of wisdom that would help to pull me out of the pit.
For two hours, we talked about the circumstances that had taken place. We talked about forgiveness and why I felt that I needed to forgive myself. We talked about anger and resentment, trust and abandonment. Then she asked the question. Why do you think that God has abandoned you? My reply,” because I cannot hear God’s voice anymore.” I waited for her response sure, that this would be the moment that she would impart wisdom that would pull me back into the light. All she did was ask another question, “What does God’s voice sound like?” I was so disappointed in her at that moment. My mind raced looking for an answer and then it happened. I have no idea where my answer came from. It seemed too roll off my tongue without going through my brain first. I had no time to analyze the validity of my statement, it was just there. “Maybe the reason I do not think that God is talking to me is because the voice God uses is my own.” A smile erupted on Joy’s face and my brain entered that Aha stage.
On an intellectual level, I have always believed that to be created in the image of God meant that within us was a spark of divinity, that the heart of God was within our hearts. What I had never fully embodied in my understanding was that God’s wisdom could possibly come from within me. I have always had a very strong gut instinct about things but I have not always listened to it. Until that moment talking to Joy, I had never equated that gut instinct, my own voice, as coming from that divine part of me.
God speaks to us in many ways, through music, nature, and the voices of others. One of the ways God speaks to us is through our own experiences and from deep within our own heart. Often times we dismiss these messages because they come in the form of our own voice. Deep within our being is our essence, the part of us that has always been, and will always be, connected to the source of our creation. Some of us see this source as God and some as the Universe, by whatever name we call source it is clear that we are an integral part. Within us lies the wisdom and voices of the ages we need only still our minds, release our ego, and listen. Be open and do not dismiss your inner knowing. The answers you seek may come in the sound of your own voice.
Blessings,
Sheila
Monday, December 28, 2009
Just a Breath Away
From the moment of our birth to the moment of our death, the breath marks the journey of our lives. On an intellectual level, I have always known this but the full reality of this truth recently came literally crashing down on me, or I should say I came crashing down on it. One minute I was sitting in a nice comfortable chair and the next I was flat on my face on a cold hard cement patio. I had been called away from my bliss and contentment asked to cross the patio and speak to someone on the phone. On the way, my foot encountered a rather tall pipe next to the walk and down I went. I do not remember what went through my head as I struck the ground but I do remember the breath I took just before the impact. Yes Matilda some of us do have to be hit over the head to get the message that each moment counts. I spent the next five hours in the emergency room cradling my broken hand and contemplating the power of that breath and that moment.
Since the fall nine weeks ago I have lived with a physical reminder of the difference a moment can make. When my hand hit the cement and broke, life changed and what has become clear to me is that change is always just a moment, just a breath away. In the time it takes to breathe in and out, the moment comes, lingers for a bit and then passes away. The power of that split second of lingering is astounding.
With each breath we take, new air fills our bodies with elements essential to continued functioning. When we exhale, we expel what is no longer useful to us. As each moment of our lives come and go we are offered the opportunity for new beginnings and to release what is no longer useful to us. The key is to remain aware of the moment and the power it holds.
Breathing is automatic, done without thinking, scarcely noticed. We even do it in our sleep. The breaths come and go fleeting moments ignored and unobserved. The difference between being asleep and awake, unconscious and conscious, dead and alive is just a breath away. We have a choice. We can live our life on automatic allowing the breath to come and go without notice or we can choose to become observant no longer overlooking the moments. We can choose to turn off the cruise control and once again take full control of our lives.
So what does it mean to take full control of our lives, what about all the stuff that just happens to us that we have no control of? While we may not control the actions of others, we do have control over how we react to the situations that confront us. We can choose to react to a given situation or we can choose to act in a way that is positive and productive. We can choose to respond to difficult circumstances with anger, resentment and an attitude of victimization, which keep us mired in our suffering, or we can choose to acknowledge that there is much to learn from difficult times and move forward. We can choose to shelter ourselves in a cocoon of depression and self-pity or we can remain open and aware, observant and receptive to the gifts the universe has to offer us in each moment. The choice is ours, the power is ours all we need do is let go of our old habits that stall our momentum and prolong our suffering.
Since the fall nine weeks ago I have lived with a physical reminder of the difference a moment can make. When my hand hit the cement and broke, life changed and what has become clear to me is that change is always just a moment, just a breath away. In the time it takes to breathe in and out, the moment comes, lingers for a bit and then passes away. The power of that split second of lingering is astounding.
With each breath we take, new air fills our bodies with elements essential to continued functioning. When we exhale, we expel what is no longer useful to us. As each moment of our lives come and go we are offered the opportunity for new beginnings and to release what is no longer useful to us. The key is to remain aware of the moment and the power it holds.
Breathing is automatic, done without thinking, scarcely noticed. We even do it in our sleep. The breaths come and go fleeting moments ignored and unobserved. The difference between being asleep and awake, unconscious and conscious, dead and alive is just a breath away. We have a choice. We can live our life on automatic allowing the breath to come and go without notice or we can choose to become observant no longer overlooking the moments. We can choose to turn off the cruise control and once again take full control of our lives.
So what does it mean to take full control of our lives, what about all the stuff that just happens to us that we have no control of? While we may not control the actions of others, we do have control over how we react to the situations that confront us. We can choose to react to a given situation or we can choose to act in a way that is positive and productive. We can choose to respond to difficult circumstances with anger, resentment and an attitude of victimization, which keep us mired in our suffering, or we can choose to acknowledge that there is much to learn from difficult times and move forward. We can choose to shelter ourselves in a cocoon of depression and self-pity or we can remain open and aware, observant and receptive to the gifts the universe has to offer us in each moment. The choice is ours, the power is ours all we need do is let go of our old habits that stall our momentum and prolong our suffering.
Change is always just a breath away!
Blessings
Sheila
Saturday, December 26, 2009
Conscious Momentum
Like many of you out there in cyber space, I have spent the last year facing some of the biggest challenges one could imagine. To put it bluntly almost all of my worst fears have come to fruition. The surprise in all of this is that some of my greatest joys have also been realized. I have learned what it means to be in the moment and how utterly devastating it can be when one moves out of the moment. When sorrow over the past and fear of the future take you out of the present the suffering that occurs can be almost unbearable.
The loss of my job in November 2008 precipitated a series of events that left me with only two choices, either lay down and die or find a way to keep moving forward. Thanks to some very special friends who supported me through their gentle, ok not always gentle, but always loving guidance, I have learned the true meaning of the love, courage, and strength. I have learned much about being awake and aware and how valuable remaining in the moment is. I have learned that maintaining conscious momentum despite setbacks and fear is the most important thing that I can do for myself and for those around me. To move forward moment by moment ever aware of the gift each moment has to offer is truly life giving and sustaining. This is “Conscious Momentum” and this is my goal in instituting this blog, to keep moving forward and to inspire others to do the same.
A very dear friend and teacher Dr. Sherre Boothman said; “With the sharing of our stories we can change the world.” For over twenty years, her words have stuck with me echoing in my head like a mantra. When we share our stories, we are not alone as we face the world. We begin to see in a very real way that we are profoundly connected. We each have gifts of wisdom, love, and encouragement to share. I only ask that those who contribute and comment on this blog be committed to moving forward in life in a way that celebrates the moment and inspires ever-increasing awareness. That we do no harm with our words and that we remain in the moment, open-minded, and non-judgmental. Let the sharing begin.
Blessings
Sheila
The loss of my job in November 2008 precipitated a series of events that left me with only two choices, either lay down and die or find a way to keep moving forward. Thanks to some very special friends who supported me through their gentle, ok not always gentle, but always loving guidance, I have learned the true meaning of the love, courage, and strength. I have learned much about being awake and aware and how valuable remaining in the moment is. I have learned that maintaining conscious momentum despite setbacks and fear is the most important thing that I can do for myself and for those around me. To move forward moment by moment ever aware of the gift each moment has to offer is truly life giving and sustaining. This is “Conscious Momentum” and this is my goal in instituting this blog, to keep moving forward and to inspire others to do the same.
A very dear friend and teacher Dr. Sherre Boothman said; “With the sharing of our stories we can change the world.” For over twenty years, her words have stuck with me echoing in my head like a mantra. When we share our stories, we are not alone as we face the world. We begin to see in a very real way that we are profoundly connected. We each have gifts of wisdom, love, and encouragement to share. I only ask that those who contribute and comment on this blog be committed to moving forward in life in a way that celebrates the moment and inspires ever-increasing awareness. That we do no harm with our words and that we remain in the moment, open-minded, and non-judgmental. Let the sharing begin.
Blessings
Sheila
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